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White Man

for the ghost who haunts my dreams

my teenage dream

pale and skinny emo 

punk rock suburbia

the peak of my Whiteness


that reminder that I grew up 

White


that I felt lost and inferior

in a sea of Whiteness

where I was taught to hate


walked out on a church

who worshiped as much as spewing hate  

mocking other cultures


White superiority

White privilege Die swartes

Die groenes Die meid

Die boy

Die gopse

Die gopserige repeating the words 

I heard around me


I grew out of it but White Man never did


now he’s like a mirror staring at me from the past

all masked by the self-pity 

thinking Pride is an insult to God

because rainbows are holy 

and They are not


his only black friends

his maid and gardener

and he calls himself poor

when he lives rent free claims he’s a victim of oppression


the guy who looks like my brother

the guy who looks like me 

White Man

you are the part of me I hate the most


© 2023 Marieke de Koker

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