A surrealist story about the deeper meanings behind the eccentricities of a New York city drug addict
SCENE 1
A disheveled woman wanders down the streets of New York City. Her pants are down. Her hair in all directions. She carries a plastic bag with live crabs inside.
Crab Woman:
(Talking to the crabs)
Hmm-hmm, I got you.
Almost there…
Shh!
A stranger laughs at her loudly. She keeps walking down the street.
Crab Woman:
Nobody’s gonna tell me nothing!
I see you. I see you!
All of you! Peasants!
You run around like rats
You think you’re all fancy
But you’re fake, you’re disgusting!
She picks up a chocolate bar that someone dropped.
Chorus of locals:
She comes here every day down Elm Place
She didn’t come for the money
Crab Woman
Man 1:
Says her crabs need to breathe
They need to be free
Woman 1:
Says the crabs told her
“Danger is coming! Death is coming!”
Woman 2:
She wants to keep them safe
She has to keep them safe
Man 2:
She can’t lose another
SCENE 2:
Singing loudly as she arrives at a small corner park. She takes the crabs out of the bag one by one and places them on the grass in the park
Crab Woman:
Here you go my baby, be free
Look at the beautiful flowers, it’s Spring
We’re one year older now
One year wiser
Yeah go, go! Run! Be free!
You're alive! You're alive!
Look at your smile warming up my world
Your little feet kissing the earth
It’s a beautiful day
Today is a beautiful day
Chorus:
They’re already dead
They die, slowly
It’s been a week this time
She carries the dead until-
Two teenagers grab the crabs and run away laughing
Teenagers:
Uggh eww! This is disgusting!
Crab Woman:
No! No!
She tries to run after the kids, until eventually she’s running after what she sees in her mind.
Crab Woman:
Where are you taking him?
Where are you taking my baby?
She puts on a good fight
Crab Woman:
I don’t care, I just want my baby!
My baby!
By the spirit in her mind she gets shoved down onto the concrete. In the background Z slowly walks into the park, watching Crab Woman.
Z:
You've gotta stop doing this
Crab Woman:
Z?
Z:
(helping her up)
This is embarrassing
Crab Woman:
Where have you been?
Z:
(looking at the crabs)
Nah man that's…
Why do they keep giving you these crabs?
Crab Woman:
You! You left him out to die!
Z:
Here we go again.
Crab Woman:
I knew! I. KNEW.
But you wouldn’t listen. No one listened!
Z:
Even the doctors said there was no way of knowing.
Crab Woman:
He'll never forgive you
Z:
He’s dead! Dead!
You have to move on!
Crab Woman: What are you talking about?
He was just here
Z:
You were talking to crabs. CRABS.
Crab Woman:
(smiling)
His favorite.
Z:
God, I’ve tried to help you.
I have tried.
But you just don’t want to get better!
Crab Woman:
Better? Today is a beautiful day
Z:
You’re broken.
You’re sick.
Crab Woman:
You're the broken one.
Look at you.
I bet you never even feel a thing.
Think you know everything.
You barely ever shed a tear!
Z:
You can’t bring him back
He’s not gonna come back
Crab Woman:
I just talked to him
Z:
It wasn’t real
Crab Woman:
It's real, he's alive.
He's alive!
He needs you!
Z:
He died three years ago. Today.
Three years ago.
Crab Woman:
MY BABY’S NOT DEAD!
Z:
Stop it! Just STOP!
Do you know what it’s like?
I lost a son. I lost a wife
And every day of my lifeI have to get up and face the world
I have to explain to everyone
That I’m still married to a nut job
Who wanders the streets half naked talking to crabs
They always blame me,
I didn’t take care of youI didn’t get you the kind of help you need
But what about me?
When do I get to grieve?
Who will take care of me?
Till death do us part?
Well he’s dead. And you’re crazy.
I’m done. I’m done.
Z hands her a divorce paper and a pen.
Z:
Just sign the fucking paper.
Crab Woman:
What is this?
Z:
Please just sign it. Actually sign it.
We're not even together anymore
Crab Woman:
You're breaking his heart
Z:
If you sign it the crabs will be very happy!
She takes the paper with a trembling hand and looks at it. She takes the pen slowly.
Crab Woman:
(with a haunting voice)
You don’t love me anymore. It’s okay.
She signs the paper
Crab Woman:
Here you go.
She stands up and for a moment. They stand and stare into each other’s eyes.
Z:
I’m sorry.
Crab Woman:
Goodbye.
Crab Woman:
He said he needed to breathe
He said danger was coming
I could see it in his eyes, that look of death
I tried to stop it! I tried everything!
The doctors said there was nothing anyone could have done
But they lie! They lie!
My baby is gone
His eyes did not close
He did not fall into a peaceful sleep
He stared at me with empty eyes, those empty eyes
Why can’t he have peace? Why can’t I have peace?
What did I do wrong?
God, are you out there?! What did I do wrong?
She walks off.
SCENE 3:
Crab Woman walks down the streets. At first she’s sobbing, then she wipes off the tears and stands up straight. She pulls up her pants. She walks as if she owns the street.
Crab Woman:
You are nothing!
(pointing at others)
You are NOTHING!
She’s about to cross the road
Crab Woman:
Hey look it’s the cleaning liquid coming through!
Fucking peasants!
(walking confidently into oncoming traffic)
I’m royalty, you fucking peasants!
She gets hit by a car.
END.
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